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Who would have thought that the world’s oldest parliamentary democracy would be such a circus? There’s never a dull moment in Britain’s favourite shitshow which has sat stuck on repeat since 1215. But of course, as zookeepers for very dangerous animals, we’re left with the bill and the mess.
ALLRIOT’s lineup is dedicated to those “hard-working” civil servants of our exemplary constitutional monarchy who work tirelessly to fling our freedoms back into the chamber pots of Feudalism, one irreversible mistake at a time.
UK POLITICS T-SHIRTS BY ALLRIOT
What is UK politics but monarchy cloaked in the robes of democracy? The leaders of Britain have, for centuries, experienced rather difficult growing pains while transitioning from a far-reaching empire to financial sanctuary. With global resistance to colonisation, and following the secession of Hong Kong to China, the UK has very pressing questions to ask about its future. Are we still members of the EEA? Why haven’t we written a Constitution yet? What is our Plan B now that David Cameron is still the PM? What is the role of the Tories in the 21st century, and why does Labour continue to do anything but promote labour in the country?
The resulting evolution of UK politics resembles the interpretation given by the artist Banksy, whose thoughtful portrayal of a parliamentary discourse was captured in its true-to-life splendor. It could be said that Parliament’s most prestigious contribution to contemporary Britain have been the copious amounts of poo flung during debates, as well as verbalised bullshit, which keep the rolling hills of the UK green and lush.
As a token of appreciation, we at AllRiot have produced a lineup of T-shirts entitled “UK Politics” to venerate Britain’s leadership role in the international community. Thank you, Tony Blair, for saddling up on the Pale Horse and destabilising Iraq and Afghanistan. Thank you, Margaret Thatcher, for your larceny of England’s worker’s commons. Thank you, David Cameron, for your political Eiffel Tower with Blair, Devo-min, and your endless speeches of “bromance” with US kleptocrat Barack Obama. Thank you, Parliament, for being steadfast shareholders in the utter ruin of Britain and your commitment to stagnation. We salute your efforts to returning us to the Dark Ages. These T-shirts are for you.
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