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MIDDLE EASTERN MADNESS
Foreign policy in America resembles that of a pimp checking the cash till after a hard nights work. As a bootleg European, I get to hear stories about the Tories and Labours, the Christian Democrats and Syriza, the Socialists and the Pirates, but none of them can hold a candle to America when it comes to boondoggles and international relations. They shouldn’t anyways, because America’s boondoggles are normally loaded with oil and cruiser missiles, and that would be dangerous. Just two days ago, Barack and the Gang decided to give their foreign policy fuckery thing another go by using the Islamic State as a pretext of destroying the Assad regime, without the approval of the United Nations or Congress. Around 50 are dead, hundreds are displaced, and a few oil refineries in Syria are completely demolished, confirmed by the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, thanks to America’s favorite pastime: scapegoating. Keep this in mind: Big Bush and his allies were funding the same Sunni-led extremists to fight Saddam Hussein in Kuwait in the early 90s, while simultaneously, after murdering Hussein, Baby (dick) Bush and Barack subjugated the new Sunni minority (which used to be the majority) in Iraq to the American colorectal ventriloquist performance that was the Shi’a front-running Nouri al-Maliki. When America’s Syrian adventure was unsuccessful and Assad took back Aleppo and Damascus, the F/UK/US crew decided to give al-Qaeda a facelift and an endorsement from Toyota, Ford, Halliburton, and most importantly, Amnesty International’s gullibility. You know, it’s hard to compare the actions of those in Capital Hill to those in the Administration, and never have I had to do so much extra math to find the square root of all evil, but I think that it lies in the womb of Washington. Congress is completely degenerate, but Obama and Co. are reptilian at best. That’s saying a lot, considering Obama has bombed his 7th country in 6 years. Nevertheless, everyone is onto him, and truthfully, the whole “Black Jesus” charade is effectively coming to an end, especially after he lost his support for pussyfooting around with the Ferguson crisis and not doing enough to de-escalate the infamous 1033 program. So, it goes without saying. I had a rant fest on Facebook for a good portion of the day. Barack Obama received the fourth degree, I got some likes from my international friends, and my family thinks I have no future in a white collar job because of my point of view. Truth is, I don’t have a future as a white collar worker because although I like the smell of Xerox toner, breathing it in while stressing over numbers and sitting on my narrow ass for 9 hours a day would effectively prevent me from having a worthwhile future, probably due to lazy butt cancer. However, I think bullshit is the greater evil, and it’s precisely what I have to listen to while watching the news. So, I’m tired now. My breath stinks of Surimi sticks and oatmeal cookies I’ve devoured while feverishly typing my disgust for yet another American war I will have to explain to my European and Chinese counterparts over beer. They’re human, and I like humans. What I don’t like are the extraterrestrials that pass off for people like Samantha Powers, Barack Obama, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton, who get uglier by the day as their souls fester in their rotten man-suits like a truckload of rotting Greek apples at the Russian border. That’s reason to drink, though. Sounds cool with me.