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Alien Jesus T-shirt
Turning water into wine. Feeding the hungry with fish and bread. Alien Jesus can work miracles with his Replicator.
XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Our products are gender-neutral (aka unisex). Except for womens tees, obviously. Size Chart
UNISEX TEE & TANK
Fits true to size. The t-shirts are slightly form-fitting, but not fitted enough to make a difference if you fit comfortably into your normal size. Women might want to order a size down.
Fits true to size. Slightly tailored at the waist, armhole and sleeve for a more flattering silhouette.
Fits true to size (slightly oversized). Classic boxy fit. Women might want to order a size down.
PREMIUM QUALITY COTTON
We use semi-combed ringspun cotton. Just one touch lets you know this isn’t some run of the mill shapeless tee. Learn more
ETHICS & SUSTAINABILITY
ALLRIOT products are sweatshop-free and earth-friendly. Learn more
LAUNDRY & CARE
Wash at 30ºC/90ºF, inside out. For best results iron on reverse. Do not tumble dry.
We’re so sure that you’re going to love your purchase that we’re offering 365-day returns on everything in store. Simply return your unworn merchandise within 365 days for a full refund.
Returns are free for UK & US customers. Exchanges are free for everyone.
To learn more or to make a return, please visit our Returns page.
ALIEN JESUS T-SHIRT
Rumor has it that aliens have been watching us from afar and began to loathe our self-destructive ways. To help humanity catch up with the rest of the interstellar community, a young farm maiden named Mary was kidnapped, given a good space rooting, and returned her back to farmstead in Bethlehem without raising an eyebrow from Joseph.
Nine months later, Alien Jesus was born from a VIRGIN birth (short for Vaginally Inserted Rapid-Gestation INtercourse). Ingrained with the ancient truths of 5th dimensional beings, Alien Jesus began to spread his gospel of truth, love, light, and advanced technologies. Amen.
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Orders ship from UK
FREE SHIPPING OVER $70
Flat rate 5-10 days : $4
Priority 3-6 days: $12
Orders ship from USA
FREE SHIPPING OVER €90 / $100
Flat rate 8-16 days : €8 / $9
Orders ship from USA, UK or EU